////// ABOUT //////
The only one in the office today. It was kind of nice. Dusted my desk and shelves, reset my voicemail, stocked up on paperclips and good pens. Ate my leftover Thai takeout at my desk for once since I knew nobody would come by to bother me.
I let the FedEx guy in and chatted with him a minute. He seemed glad to have someone to talk to. Said he’s come by the past two days to drop off this same package but no one was here.
Raided the candy bowl for the only Rolos.
Cut my hair today. Not as scary as it sounds. I got a feather razor that I’m starting to figure out. Watching a bunch of videos and just kind of experimenting with it. My hair is so damn thick and curly that it’s kind of hard to mess up too badly.
Took a 2 mile walk at lunch and stopped to sit on a bench in the sun and eat my PBJ sandwich and drink a can of Coke.
I love my new Wrangler wallet.
I found an old Yashica SLR at Dollar Thrift yesterday. It’s pretty dusty and grimy but seems to work okay. And has a roll of half exposed 400 ISO color film in it. I think I’ll finish the roll and then take it to MY PHOTO LAB to get it developed and see what’s on it.
$13 — Flintstones vitamins, a pack of Parliament Lights, shaving cream
$8 — Caesar salad + can of Coke from the little cafe next door that’s always empty
Such bullshit. My boss said I could take the FT darkroom shift but he just fucking gave it to Seth. It’s such a boys club. I’m stuck back on running negatives and the 1 hr machine. Even though I’m better than him at custom printing. His dodging and burning is so fucking obvious. I’m so sick of this shit.
This lovely 3 Bedroom, 2 Bath one level Ranch Style home is located in the subdivision of Eastridge Estates. This home includes Large Kitchen with Range, Refrigerator & Dishwasher, Utility Room with Washer/Dryer connections. Living Room, Den with wood burning Fireplace and Carport with storage closet.
God, I just want to hide out. I don’t think I can answer one more phone call about a blasted 3 BR / 2 BA with garage and fenced yard. I’m losing my mind with all this sameness, all these beige houses. I feel like I just need to disappear.
Sometimes I love this job – the ease & freedom. Sometimes I’m just embarrassed. Why am I not doing anything more with my life? Is this all I’m good for? Pressing buttons and color correcting boring families standing in rows and posed in bad light? Why do all my friends seem to have it together? Why am I such a degenerate still?
The guest bath on the upper level is nicely and uniquely designed with opposing sinks. There is a 1/2 bath on the main level. The basement has an oversized, 2 car garage separated from the finished billiard’s room and full bath.
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I could definitely stay here awhile. The light that comes in the living room nook in the morning is incredible. I woke up at 5 and just laid under a blanket in the swivel armchair and stared out the window for like an hour. Made my black tea and burnt english muffin and let my mind clear. I’m afraid this one will go fast though. I had to clear out early and cover my tracks before the first showing at 8:30.
Playing with long exposures. Not quite where I want it to be. I think I’ll take the bus this week to try getting some out-of-the-window shots. I don’t know, so uninspired lately.
Miss X by MC5 on repeat on the turntable, full blast.
Bruce spent like two days on the Artron generating this stupid computerized living room illustration. He’s convinced we can use these to move listings. I told him it looks like crap and he just got mad and stormed out of my office and then complained to everyone that I’m not being flexible with new technology. So dumb.
Listening to:
Out of Focus (Blue Cheer)
Inside Looking Out (Grand Funk Railroad)
Those dismissive one-liners that stack up in your head. That come up when you can’t sleep. You can’t help but replay them in a loop. Is this how everyone sees me?
Someone looking at a slideshow of my photos: “I think we get it. You don’t have to show all of them. We get your schtick.”
Friend of a friend: “You should wear your hair like that all the time. You look a lot better. When you had it up you just looked really plain.”
Someone I met at a party, looking me up and down: “I can’t really figure out your deal.”
Mean girls in college: “Oh, you want to hang out with us today? Sorry, we don’t really have room for someone else. Maybe you can go with her instead.”
Boss: “Let’s get someone really outgoing for this. We have to have someone who has presence.”
Minutes from, yet miles away!! Crave serenity, but need to be close to everything? Unique modern home with sunken and raised rooms throughout!
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.. bank to deposit checks
.. pharmacy: toothpaste, Advil, cotton balls
.. need potting soil and Miracle Gro
JEAN 10/15
Bored out of my mind stuck behind the counter here so I’m trying out some diptychs with the photos I took last week.
I should run the last few rolls in the developer, cut and sleeve some negatives, organize the stupid customer files. But I don’t want to. Just want to walk out the door and sit on the curb in the hot sun…
Eating lately:
. plain noodles, red pepper, shaved parmesan
. hard boiled eggs and saltines
. bean burritos with hatch chiles
JUSTINE 10/13
Award-winning floor plan in amazing location!
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.. not award-winning location. hotel next door blocks out any view I’d have.
.. heat crapped out so I had to start a fire in the woodstove. kind of obvious there’s someone here now. ugh.
.. did the aerobics tape left in the VCR. good workout at least.
.. got to scour the listings tonight and find something better for tomorrow and hopefully long term. so over these last few disappointing places.
JEAN 10/12
Horrible cold for two weeks. Finally not feeling snotty.
Sitting on Franklin Street taking incognito pictures of people walking past, just their legs. Minolta 1/30 sec, ISO 400.
Listening to:
The Funk Show on WNCU
Watching: Smithereens
I need to go to the Art Library:
. Josef Koudelka—’70s, ’80s
. Paul Kwilecki, Decatur County GA
. Robert Frank, Leica
JUSTINE 10/4
Updated private corner unit townhome with large deck nestled in a beautiful wooded setting!
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.. found an apron in the pantry. roasted a chicken! neighbors didn’t let on that they noticed.
.. tarot reading with ginger tea in the breakfast nook– I pulled the moth: impulsive, hasty, wishful
.. the sheets smelled musty so I slept on the couch, overstuffed and comfy. didn’t wake up until dawn.
.. need to start bringing a comforter with me
JUSTINE 10/3
grocery list:
2 lemons
sharp cheddar cheese
cherry pop tarts
english muffins
black tea
Lady Speedstick
eggs
aspirin
cottage cheese
grape tomatoes
JEAN 9/30
I need to budget
I need to get my film developed
I need to start getting up early
Listening to lately:
All Night Long, Billy Vaughn
Crimson and Clover, Joan Jett
Reading lately:
Low Life, Luc Sante
Henri Cartier Bresson
I got a book of knitting patterns at the library this week. Also trying out bangs, I don’t know…
JUSTINE 9/29
This gorgeous & well-maintained BRICK front home lives large!
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Evidence of the back-to-back showings from the day: leaves and dirt tracked all over the foyer and leading down the two steps into the beige carpeted living area.
.. Sweep up
.. Bake a frozen pizza; glass of Bordeaux
.. Look through tomorrow’s listings
.. Wash blouse, stockings and slacks in sink; hang to dry
JEAN 9/27
All I ever do is stare out windows and daydream about what I want to do without ever doing anything.
I’ve got to start …
Right now I’m trying to …
I feel like all I ever do is …
I need to …
This 4 bedroom, 3 full bath home is move-in READY to start the NEW year!
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I waited until after 7:00 in my car down the street until the last showing was over. But they didn’t stick around too long after. And my agency key worked which I wasn’t sure about. I had to sneak in the side door and keep the lights off in the front of the house.
Cable tv works and they had some cut-up vegetables and watermelon in the fridge that I figured they wouldn’t miss. Not too terrible for one night at least.
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